Hibernation

When first true winds of winter sound,
and a hand prints deep in snow;
for it lays trembling on the ground,
feeling frigid, feeling woe.

The world soon sleeps 'neath snow and ice
and coldness creeps within me deep.
I yawn and yearn for mere a trice,
and wished, with her, I'd fall asleep.

[German original]

[Winterschlaf

Die ersten Flocken gleiten nieder;
ein erster Handdruck bleibt im Schnee,
denn zitternd liegt die Hand auf Erden,
ertastet Kälte, Sehnsuchtsweh.

Im Schnee versteckt bald schläft die Welt
und Kälte schleicht mir ins Gebein;
ich halte inne, schließ die Augen
und wünscht ich schliefe mit ihr ein.]

Fuck it.

Behind dreams

I will dream like wolfs astray,
in worlds made for the silent lambs.
Conform, in fit with holy scams,
I stood no chance as willing prey;
too scared of truth to dare the fray.

I go to bed with snakes and shame,
with forked belief, Uroborus;
'till deadly my own vice arose -
and now, awake, the beast lays claim
to set my world of peace aflame.

It rips apart my view of Me.
As snake bites tail, and wolf claws deep,
I drop the rotting skin of sheep,
the mask of fake and unity,
Real is all I seek to be.

Did too far my dream has led?
My very soul assumes no more ...
I watch the life, that I once wore,
and wished I'd feel at all, but dead,
as air is filling full regret.

I'm choking on enlightenment.
Reallities, they sufficate -
and None means All before my fate,
here, where all my time is spent.
There, where death and I ascent ...

I've dreamt as lamb of the mundane,
the empty shells, the herds of skin.
In dreams I gave myself to sin,
and wished I could just once regain,
what stirrs behind my hope; in vain.

Afterthought

I really hope the Buddhists got it right, their talk about reincarnation and all. Because if not, if one does only live once, then this is a waste of fucking time.

Leap of Faith

fiction

The wind whispers cold along my neck. Through torn clouds stars weep relentlessly above me. The air is thick and icy, and I start to run. Without any burden my steps cary towards the end of my world. Beneath me, countless people succumb to their nocturnal routine. They are but dots on the edge of my horizon. I jump.
The world ceases. Thw wind takes me and I embrace the night, let the darkness carry me away. Deeper and deeper; downwards evermore. And the wind kisses my ear.

A moment is born.

Here I'm almost child again. A smile had worth and beauty, shape. My hand reaches out to a door. Just a quiet squeak from the aged frame is witness. I went away, though not deep, not far enough.

A coarse rock breaches in transience.

I want to scream. There she lies. Riddle blinds my sight. My thin fingers pull circles through her soul. I can feel her warmth.
I didn't want this. She left, I broke her heart. Just her silent lips are left, and as I kiss them, we are so far from life. Her kiss is transience of love. Transience of life. She left. I screamed, and her eyes scream back at me.
Why, why, why? And I hate.

Time destroys all.

I would want to die. Right here, tonight. I dreamt of angels, and sometimes I wanted to fly. Angels, take my hand and let me fly. Let me fly, my angel, and never let me go.
Or I would perish, right here, tonight.